“Adria there were so many times you would start to bubble up and I was waiting for you to burst but you never did.”
That was the statement that was said to me after I did a run through for one of my talks I would be giving this summer. At first, I didn’t really understand what that meant but later it became so clear.
I was terrified to step into this job, into this role, into this position at Winshape. I had so many moments where I would get so close to just fully stepping in but fear would jerk me back to my “half-way” mentality. I didn’t realize that my fear of stepping into this summer was manifesting itself into so many other areas of my life and even my faith.
I was slapped in the face after that preaching lab and so sure that the Lord was saying, “step in.”
So here we are one week in and I can say I have finally stepped. My heart has been about to come out of my chest at times because I get so excited about the truth I am getting to share with these girls. But there have already been times when I have been overwhelmed and absolutely wrecked after some really hard conversations I have had with campers who are so broken.
People always say that everything you have waited for is on the other side of fear and they are right.
I have never been so sure that I am right where I am supposed to be. I have never been so sure that I am doing exactly what the Lord had for me this summer.
I have never been so sure because of one simple reason: I can’t do it.
It is all Him.
He is sustaining me.
He is giving me rest.
He is providing the words.
He is making me fully dependent on Him.
Because if I wasn’t and if I am not, I won’t make it through another day.
I told a highschool girl this week, “if you feel like God is telling you to do something that seems impossible and the complete opposite of what you want to do then the odds are He is because He wants us to learn to be reliant on Him.”
Don’t you love it when you preach to yourself?
I never want to look back on my life and say everything I did would have been possible without God. I want to look back and say there was no way any of it could have happened if it wasn’t for the power of the Lord. I want to dare to get out of my safety zone and go to the front line. Day in and day out I want to dare to do the impossible because stepping into the impossible is a stage for the Lord to show off how He is the God of the impossible.
I challenge you to step in. Fully step into that thing you are terrified to do. Fully step into the impossible. Fully step in, knowing that the Lord will do it all.