There is a running joke amongst my friend that we aren’t allowed to use the phrase, “it’s fine, i’m fine,” anymore. The phrase typically follows a conversation that is a confession of things going on in our world or things we are struggling with.
We joked about it until we realized that we needed to stop coining that phrase and using it as a cop-out to sit in vulnerability only momentarily. The phrase became a way to turn off the light and tiptoe back into the dark room where we could settle for hiding our shortcomings and struggles instead of letting the light continuously give us self-awareness and let the people closest to us in on the battles we were up against. We believed this phrase was a get out of jail free card when instead it was sending us back to that place.
You see, I have come to realize that yes, we might be fine, but Jesus did not come for me or for you to just be fine, He came for us to be free. Not just free, but fully free. There is no partial freedom or temporary freedom. Walking in the light is freedom. Walking in the dark is imprisonment. The moment we decide to go into hiding is the same moment we decided to walk in the dark.
Our judgmental views have prohibited us from understanding the truth. We walk around looking at those who have confessed struggles with pornography, we look at the recovering addict applying for a job, we look at those who are medicated for anxiety, as if they have a stench we cannot bear to be around, failing to realize we are the ones creating a stench and it is one of self-righteousness.
We have forgotten that those people are the ones who have been brave enough to let what was in the dark come into the light. We often look with disgust at the ones who struggles/sins are blatantly out there for the world to see, not realizing they are the ones who have the upper hand over us who are in hiding. From the outside, some of us look “fine.” We look as if we have mastered this walk with Jesus when the only thing we have mastered is a craft of secrecy.
This conversation of being fine verses being free arose again this past weekend around a circle of senior girls. This idea has been stirring in me for a couple weeks now but as each girl shared, there was a common thread being woven into the conversation – they did not feel like they could show they were struggling. So I presented them with the question I have been asking myself: do you want to be fine or do you want to be free?
As females, we are living in a time where movements of women being strong and empowered are the billboards everywhere we go. I will tread lightly here because this topic is territory prone to controversy. But one of my girls brought up this reality and said, “I don’t know how to tell someone I am not strong when right now that is what females are expected to be.”
I am convinced that the belief that there is an expectation for us to be strong is what pushes our emotions and even our confessions further and further into the shadows. I am guilty of letting it happen to me. As people of God, we have to remember that He does not ask us to be strong, He asks us to be a child. He promises that when we are weak, He is strong. Our struggles are not grounds for dismissal in the Kingdom of God. Our struggles can serve as paths to finding an unwavering confidence that the blood of Jesus covers them all. Faith in Jesus ensures that.
I wanted my girls to know that the starting place for most of us is not even letting other people in on what is going on, but letting God in. He already knows but oh how He loves it when we tell him.
“Lord, I just feel like I can’t get past ____”
“Lord, this week I have been struggling so much with _____”
Speak it out because struggles we fail to confess become strongholds. What we fail to name we will never change. When you say what it is, it no longer holds the power to tell you who you are. Freedom for some of us looks like giving something a name.
Anxiety.
Depression.
Self-harm.
Eating disorder.
Loneliness.
Addiction.
Pride.
Judgement.
Resentment.
Here is the thing though, the things that we hide do not have a ranking. For some of us, yes, they are more serious in terms of affecting our physical health. However, anything we do not let be brought into the light has the same effect on us spiritually. My pride that I fail to admit is just as severe as your addiction you fail to claim.
Today, here is the choice we are faced with – we can be fine and let things stay in the dark or we can be free and walk in the light that Jesus has called us to.
One will be easier to choose and it will provide the temporary satisfaction that comes with keeping your image perserved in the eyes of others and even yourself. By image I mean false image because those of who strive to be seen as perfect are portraying nothing more than illusion. The other will be hard, it will be humbling, but it will change everything. It will put new breath in your lungs, new vision in your eyes, a new song in your mouth, and a peace that surpasses all understanding.
We do not have live in a game of tug of war with the light and darkness. We can step fully into the light and no longer let the fear of being fully seen yank us backward.
You are not called to be fine. You are called to be free. Free does not mean free of struggles or free of falling into doubt or free of falling into temptation. Free means you are free to admit where you are at. Free means you can be honest. Free means you are not under the control of the enemy. He doesn’t get to tell you that you just need to be fine. The statement of Jesus on the cross, “It is finished,” interrupts the enemy’s lies, to remind us that what He says hold more power than what satan says.
There is a story in Exodus, where Pharaoh refuses to set the Israelites free and because of that God sends the ten plagues to Egypt. Now, Moses was the middleman between Pharaoh and God. These Egyptian plagues varied and were to correspond to the ancient Egyptian gods and goddesses that were prevalent during this time.
The second plague was the plague of the frogs. Frogs were associated with the goddess Hequet. Hequet often was depicted as a woman with the head of a frog. The frog symbolizes life and fertility and Hequet was said to be the goddess who helped women in childbirth.
Imagine frogs being everywhere. Everywhere people. In your house, in your shower, in your shoes, etc. It maddens Pharaoh to the point where he calls for Moses. Scripture tells us how this conversation went down.
“Pharaoh summoned Moses and Aaron and said, “Pray to the Lord to take the frogs away from me and my people, and I will let your people go to offer sacrifices to the Lord.”
Moses said to Pharaoh, “I leave to you the honor of setting the time for me to pray for you and your officials and your people that you and your houses may be rid of the frogs, except for those that remain in the Nile.”
“Tomorrow,” Pharaoh said.” Exodus 8:8-10
Two things I don’t want you to miss from this passage:
- Pharaoh has to ask Moses to pray for the frogs to be taken away. You can ask others to pray for _____ to be taken away but YOU also have the privilege and ability to pray for yourself.
- Moses gives Pharaoh the chance to decide when the frogs will end and his answer is TOMORROW. Pharaoh settled for one more night. Too many of us are like Pharaoh, content with having the mentality of “tomorrow.” Do not settle for one more night. Do not wait until tomorrow. Pray today. Ask God to bring things into the light today. He is fully capable. A part of me thinks God is telling us the same thing Moses told Pharaoh – I leave you the honor of setting the time for me to pray so that your house may be rid of _____. James tells us we have not because we ask not. Ask for it.
Today, name it. Walk out of the darkness into the light. Let the rays of His grace and unending love hit your face. Say goodbye to being fine and run into the life He intended for you to live – one of freedom.
Maybe tonight you need to have an honest conversation with the Lord and then you need to find the people that you trust that can be in your corner. Find the people who are not going to let you take a step forward and then take three steps back. Find the people who will not let you use the phrase, “it’s fine, i’m fine.” I have mine and boy am I thankful for them.
You do not have to fight this fight alone.
“This, in essence, is the message we heard from Christ and are passing on to you: God is light, pure light; there’s not a trace of darkness in him.” 1 John 1:5
